To an HSP, the holiday season can feel like anything but “the most wonderful time of the year.” The hustle and bustle of it all, stores packed to the brim with eager shoppers, holiday party invites, gift lists a mile long, the upcoming family get-togethers – it’s a lot. While the hectic nature of the holiday season is a recipe for overwhelm for anyone, it’s almost a given for highly sensitive people.
But that doesn’t mean HSPs can’t have a wonderfully enjoyable holiday season. It’s just going to take a little planning, boundary-setting, and attention to your own needs. If you’re looking for holiday tips for highly sensitive people for yourself or a loved one, you’re already on the right track. You’re being proactive in learning how to spend time with loved ones without losing yourself and getting overwhelmed.
And that’s a step in the right direction.
Tips for HSPs to Get Through the Holiday Season
Before you read on, first check in with yourself if you are a highly sensitive person. Make sure you’re ready to read these holiday tips for highly sensitive people and put them into action. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a break for yourself, perhaps practice some mindful breathing, and then come back.
1) Plan Ahead
If you’re spending time with friends and relatives you don’t see often, and your daily routine is rearranged because of the holidays, one of the best holiday tips for HSPs is to make a plan for yourself.
Begin with a mission statement by asking yourself, “What matters most to me about the holidays?” List the experiences and people you want to connect with the most. This will help you determine your holiday priorities.
Then do your best to find out, or discern, who will be at whatever event you’re attending. If possible, connect with a trusted friend or relative who can relay the information to you. That way, you’ll minimize unexpected circumstances, which can be overwhelming to highly sensitive people, especially with the buzz of the holiday season floating through the air.
Keep a specific safe space in mind where you can go if you need to escape a draining conversation or toxic company. And make an agreement with a trusted friend or family member that you can contact them whenever you need support.
2) Give Yourself a Buffer Day
If possible, schedule a buffer day (or two) after your holiday celebration events to relax and recharge before getting back into the swing of your everyday routine. Highly sensitive people quite often need more time to recuperate after events. (Don’t forget: this is okay.)
While working a buffer day or two into your holiday season schedule might mean a shorter visit with friends and family or an extra day off work, it’s definitely worth it. Taking the time you need for yourself to regain balance is an essential holiday tip for HSPs.
3) Manage Your Expectations
First off, as an HSP, you may want things to be perfectly magical and stress-free during your holiday get-togethers. (Actually, everyone probably wishes that!) But, make sure you properly manage your expectations. If you absolutely must come into contact with a person or situation that overwhelms you and fills you with anxiety, be kind to yourself.
If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to excuse yourself from a conversation or situation.
If it’s all just too much, it’s okay to leave early.
If you feel like you can’t attend a holiday season event at the last minute, it’s okay to change your mind.
Don’t expect you’re going to know how everything is going to go. Ideally, you’ll get through the holidays relatively easily by paying attention to your needs and planning ahead. But if things go a little sideways, remember: it’s okay.
4) Opt for Low-Key
If you plan on attending a get-together that may include loud, boisterous friends or family members or a little too much small talk for your liking, consider bringing along a low-key activity to escape from the noisy, overwhelming holiday season festivities.
Perhaps bring along an adult coloring book, some peaceful music with earbuds, or a crochet project. Remember that designated “safe space” from point number one? Take your low-key activity there and spend some much-needed quiet time alone when you need to.
5) Say “No”
As much as your heart may want to enjoy the joy of the holiday season, sometimes the best tactic in surviving the holidays is just to say “no.” And as an HSP, this can be difficult because you don’t want to disappoint people.
But it’s a must.
Pick and choose the events you want to include in your recipe for surviving the holidays. Trying to please everyone and fit everything in is going to backfire on you. Refer to the mission statement you created in point number one to determine which events will serve you and your needs.
If something or someone doesn’t align with your mission statement, it’s absolutely, 100% okay to say NO thank you.
6) Choose Quality Time Over Quantity of Time
Sure, you might want to spend as much time as you can with loved ones you don’t often see during the holiday season. But keep in mind, quantity does not always equal quality.
Highly sensitive people tend to feel drained quickly after spending time with others. That means surviving the holidays for you as an HSP might mean limiting time with others, even if they are kind, loving, and sensitive to your needs.
Self-Reflection Questions
I know the holiday season can be overwhelming as an HSP. But the plans and changes you may need to make to ensure you enjoy yourself can be just as overwhelming if you don’t prepare yourself. Before the holidays begin, consider asking yourself the following questions:
What is most important to me about the holiday season?
What events and/or people do I want to avoid?
Is there a trusted friend or family member I can confide in if I feel overwhelmed during the holiday season?
What are the expectations I hold for myself during this time?
What are my most essential needs during the holiday season?
Surviving the Holidays as an HSP Means Putting Your Needs First
Living up to others’ expectations and doing your best to avoid disappointing loved ones during the holiday season is a recipe for disaster for HSPs. Out of all the holiday tips for highly sensitive people, perhaps the most important thing to remember is that your needs are important, even if they don’t align with the needs of others.
Take pride in the fact that you are doing your best to love and honor yourself as an HSP when you put yourself first. When you do that, you’re sure to have a happy and enjoyable holiday season.
If you need help embracing yourself as a highly sensitive person, I can help. As an HSP therapist in the San Francisco Bay area, I help people just like you explore, discover, and embrace what makes them wonderfully unique as an HSP.